"Sometimes a random sadness comes over me, and it is no respecter of persons, or circumstance, for it comes suddenly and without warning. I don't know what it's called, nor do I know if there even exists a term for it, but it's something I've lived with since I'd met someone of great price a long time ago, and since then I've been a subject to its whims, like the earth is subject to its seasons, and the heart is subject to its passions."
I’ve been thinking a lot lately.
Is TEACHING really for me? I mean, I’ve always dealt with kids. I’ve babysat many and have always been a fond of the whole thing. But who am I or what do I have to be that, ‘a noble teacher’. It isn’t for the title, you see.. I mean, I don’t really know how much recognition teachers get, these days. It’s rare to find a teacher nowadays who are willing to give their all for the sake of a childs education/future. Nobody really cares for each other anymore.
Well what does that all mean to me?
Children all over the world, who have the opportunity to go to school, don’t value their education as much as someone who’s unfortunate and is unable to get the education. Well why is that? We all know and understand this!
The riches of ones country should not be taken as lightly as some do because they will always have the opportunities. But, shouldn’t everyone fend for themselves? I always say in a family, you shouldn’t think you’re somebody just because you have a sibling/relative who’s position is of high rank. You’re not the one living their life and carrying through that title. So why should you live a piece of that, aside from being proud of your family history. What have you made of yourself, to be leveled in the same rank? What do you contribute to that honorable title?
That’s why.. people in countries who have the opportunities to have the education that we all need, should really re-think how much it means to be somebody. See we all need to be somebody. Not for the sake of falling into a rank or a title. But for the sake of accomplishing and following through who/what you should be in this lifetime.
..and the parents have the biggest roles in attaining this
Some of our children, are not being taught the values that one should have. They are not being taught the need to be SOMEONE and not just like everyone else. We should be pushing our children, to want to be better people. To want better things for themselves. Because then, why do we work soo hard for them, if we can’t guarantee ourselves, as parents that we’ve done what we need to, in order for our children to succeed on their own. And it isn’t to be controlling of your child’s future. It’s to guide them to want to be successful! We are not parents just so we can carry out a 9-5 job, provide breakfast, lunch and dinner, have laundry done and the house ready to be made a disaster of over and over again. We are parents who play a huge role on maintaining a lifestyle, maintaining that honorable family history for our children, so I would hope that when my child is old enough to think for himself what is important to oneself, that he realizes education and everything that comes with being who you should be, should be as important as the latest video game or app. I mean it can’t be that you’re mother/father was a doctor and down the line of your legacies, you get a bunch of homeless and drug addicts. Where is that honor?
I just want all the children to want everything big for themselves. To want everything with no limits.@1 year ago
@1 year ago with 20 notes
We watched Rise of the Planet of the Apes the other night. In it, primitive creatures quickly grow intelligent and fight their oppressors… Make it toddlers instead of apes and it could have taken place at my house.
There’s only one day, in a whole year-where you have to make resolutions for the upcoming year. It’s funny because, it’s not like the majority actually end up living up to their resolutions. The first bullshit that happens on the first day of the new year- the stress has taken over and it’s war all over again with whoever came up with stress.
But just to be like everyone else, who may or may be able to live up to their word…
I’ve learned a lot in 2011. Things that I might have known all this time but was too afraid to even face. But isn’t that what it is anyway.. fear. See everything we want to be that’s good we’ve always known, it’s just a matter of being that. Fear is the number one discouragement. Once it gets to your head, you’re inevitably spiraling down to the abyss. I’d like to think I”m not afraid of anything and being who I am at any given time. But the truth is, this year.. I’ve learned to be a little bit nicer. Like when I’m ordering food at some crappy fast food place and the order didn’t go as listed on the receipt.. instead of me, having a fit that their incompetence can’t even carry out a simple order, I just say.. I’m sorry, but this isn’t what I’v ordered. I don’t have an extra 2 mins to let you fix your mistake so please do it in 30 seconds. (lol, no I don’t say that-only the first half of that sentence was true). But you get what I mean.
Aside from being a little nicer, I’ve also learned a lot being a ‘wifey’. It’s quite difficult trying to maintain a lifestyle with the opposite sex, who’s the total opposite of you and the only commonality you have is that you like to sleep, eat and watch movies. (I’m sure there’s other things on a deeper note). The past five years, I thought I was trying to maintain this relationship together, but really I was just trying to carry it all on my own. Leaving J with no opportunity to make manly decisions on his behalf or make calls he’s supposed to because he’s the “man” of the house. I’ve developed my own balls that hang so low, I may just get the title of the worse woman and worse man in the world. LOL.. so weird. Sorry! But in all honesty, although women are programmed to just pick up the slack and run with it. Never looking back because trusting men to do it is just a total set up to fail isn’t the right way to think. If we only gave them the talk and the opportunity to be men, they wouldn’t be such lazy fucks. lol I think this year J and I have grown to be the individuals we’re meant to be in this relationship.. along with who we’re supposed to be together for babyganouj and for each other. Our communicating level has definitely sky rocketed to be better.. I mean, there’s always that small twitch that just makes everything wrong, sometimes. But all in all we’re on the road to getting it.. it’s still a lot of work. But if you’re willing, I don’t see why you’ll lose.
Babyganouj has definitely been a lot more work this year, considering he’s getting older and growing by the minute. He’s very challenging..but J and I know what and where we should be with him. So I’m confident, this terrible two’s will be long gone, by the time he starts his terrible three’s. OH LAWD! :|
Family is important.
..just sometimes, not everyone in it, is.
I lost one of my closest family and friend. No, not to death. But over something so absurd to mention. I’m still sad about it and everytime I remember it or I know I’ll bump into her at some fam jam I think about all the years that have been wasted. But without that mistake, I wouldn’t have been able to focus on myself and what I’ve always wanted. Believe it or not, who she was, was a distraction, a discouragement and she made me feel insecure about myself. She put me down in ways I never noticed before and I guess I have her to thank for the decisions I was able to make now that she’s gone.
It’s hard to let go, when it’s all you’ve known and knowing just that. These days, I feel like I have not one friend who’s loyal and is willing to give me the same value as I do in a friendship..And the hardest for me to do, is let go of people that I love. But I’ve given chances, chances that sometimes shouldn’t have even been given and makes me look like a fool. But now I realize that just because you know this one thing so well-or so you thought you did.. it doesn’t mean, that you’ll never have to let it go. 2012, I’ll lose her.
+focus on babyganouj.
+focus on your relationship more.
+work on yourself. Heal…a lot of healing.
+remember who you are and never sacrifice that for anyone else.
+make mistakes-it’s okay!
+a little less order, wont kill you.
+tuck your balls in.
to be continued…@1 year ago